Creating With Open Hands

on releasing control and letting your ideas surprise you

Writing a series isn’t what I thought it would be like. I had an idea and I ran with it, not giving too much thought to a set plan or outline. It’s how I finished my first book, by just going with it. I needed to tell myself the story, and as I did, the rest began to fall into place. I started to see plots for the side characters in which they were no longer side characters but full on leading roles.

To me, they all became real. And they all deserved to be heard.

So, as I set forth to publish my first novel, I knew the second one would have to be close behind and I got to writing. It was a bit harder to get into, but again, once I got going, the characters told me their stories. When I reached the end of my second book, I thought I knew which character was going to be next in line, I even wrote it on an ending page, to encourage readers to stick around for the story.

I figured it would be the same as getting into book two, a little planning and then once the writing began, we’d be off to the races with a word flow. Guess what? That wasn’t the case.

Life was entering a different season and I was quickly burning out (without realizing it) but I kept telling myself I could do this. I had late nights and stolen moments, squeezing in any free moment I could to try and get the book going. In the end, being a mom came first and ultimately I had to take a step back from forcing my brain to manage more than it could handle in the moment.

The writing break was nice at first, but soon words began to swirl like a tornado in my mind, aching for a plain to ravage. I set to writing. However, it wasn’t with the characters I started with. No, this was a new set of individuals, a whole new world to enter in. It was exciting and new and it consumed me. I wrote my third book.

It wasn’t the third book that I had in mind, but it was a book nonetheless and I was proud to have finished something again. And so the pressure for a fourth started coming. I tried to go back to the characters in my first series, but it was like trying to make two mismatched puzzle pieces fit. The colors were the same, but the shape didn’t line up. My writing voice had changed, would the characters suffer for that? Or would it show my growth alongside theirs?

Either way, I walked away again, dipping back into the second world I had created. I had this one lined out better and started writing, it was easy to stay in this world because it had only just begun. Yet, my heart wasn’t truly invested in this story, so it dragged on.

Enter another burnout and a forced step away from publishing. It hurt to step back, I felt like a failure. The first step back felt mandatory because I was in newborn season with my second baby, there was no guilt there, just rest and presence. But this time, I was knocked on my ass and I didn’t want to admit how much stepping back upset me. I wanted this to work, I wanted my author career to take off like I’ve seen happen to others.

Alas, another year passed and the burnout I once again didn’t realize I was in lifted. I was renewed. I started writing short poetry for myself. I found Substack. I started putting myself back into the world of writing, for me, for others, for the sake of my love of words and staring them. To connect with the world around me.

My first series characters still taunted the back of my mind. I had eventually planned out six books after the second was finished and I ached to get back to them, to tell them I hadn’t forgotten about them. Their stories mattered to me, they are good stories. I tried one more time. I began working on chapters in no particular order, hoping the spark would come. It wasn’t. This character was not ready for the spotlight, and me forcing it wasn’t going to create a story worth reading.

Then around NYE I watched my favorite YouTuber, Jess, from Roots and Refuge Farm, talk about living life with your hands open. That when you keep them closed, holding on to an idea, that idea is all you can live for. But if you open your hands, taking the risk of that one idea falling out, you leave yourself open to receiving so much more.

Guess what? She was right.

I stepped back, admitting that maybe I wasn’t supposed to finish this series, and something new would come along. And well, the ideas did, but not the one I was expecting. What is supposed to be book four in the first series became clearer and clearer in my mind, as if a movie made just for me was playing behind my eyes.

I’d hear songs, I’d think of scenes and something in me clicked. This is the book that’s next. My open hands, so strongly stuck on book three being book three, were ready to take in a new idea. So, I swapped the two stories around. BAM! Everything started clicking, fireworks going off so fast my vision became blinded. Book four became book three and I have plotted it out entirely. I have a Pinterest board, a playlist, character ARCs and the whole works. It’s probably the most plotted book I’ve done to date.

I can feel it.

To say I’m thrilled with this is an understatement. My heart feels full. The character I was most anxious to get to is now front and center, telling me he knows he should’ve been there all along. I was the one being stubborn, not them.

All that’s left to do now is to write. When I have time, on my own terms, no deadlines, no set publishing schedule. Just me, them and some good music. And, man, I am so ready.

So here’s my tip for you: if you’re stuck, unsure where to go, trying to fit two puzzle pieces together, take a step back, open your hands and let whatever your searching for find you. You just might be surprised with the outcome. I hope you are—in the very best way!

Thank you for spending your time with me today, I’m so glad you’re here!

Until next time ✌🏻

If you’re interested to learn more about the first series that I mentioned, I recently shared a reading of the prologue to the first book, and you can find that here: